


she is like a cat in the dark

by Coara



Series: eyes as red as the dying sun [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Saigon Sisters, Smut, hinted Perry x Mattie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coara/pseuds/Coara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A hand tangles in your hair and pries you away. Droplets of blood slide down your chin and your tongue darts out to catch every little bit of this doomed salvation.<br/>"Don’t make a mess, darling,“ she warns you, before she lets you feed again, fingers scraping over your skull.</p><p>- Scenes from different periods of Carmilla's undeath, her relationship with Mattie, Saigon and of course Hollstein up to current episodes + idea of what could happen in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	she is like a cat in the dark

i.)

 

You are shaking, gripping her hand, almost afraid of crushing her fingers. Almost. You know she is stronger than you. Maman told her to take care of you.

She pulls you in, her chest against your back, free arm wrapped around your middle, chin settling on your shoulder. Your whole body tenses, you want to claw at her, rip her to pieces, though she isn’t at fault for the mess you’ve become. But she is like her. Matska is Maman’s favorite.

"I know you want to kill, to thrive on their blood.“ The purr of her voice vibrates through your skin. "But you need to learn to control yourself.“

She guides you to the bed, a young man sprawled on the duvet. His eyes are glazed. You don’t know what she did to him, but he doesn’t react when you step closer. You hear his breathing, his pulse. Your fangs graze your bottom lip when you let out a shuddering breath. A groan escapes your throat when you struggle against her hold.

"I will let you drink now, but _you_  will let him live. Can you do that for me, darling?“

You nod frantically. The thirst burns. So much. Endlessly. You just want to burry your fangs into the soft flesh in front of you. Knowing, this will quench the fire for only a few blissful hours. But you want it anyway.

As soon as you feel Matska’s hold slacken, you pounce. One hand in his hair, pulling his head back. Mouth on his neck, fangs piercing skin, flesh and arteries. The blood fills your mouth and you swallow greedily.

You feel warmth and strength spread through your whole body and you don’t want to stop. You _can’t_ stop.

A hand tangles in your hair and pries you away. Droplets of blood slide down your chin and your tongue darts out to catch every little bit of this doomed salvation.

"Don’t make a mess, darling,“ she warns you, before she lets you feed again, fingers scraping over your skull.

 

#

 

The girl is writhing underneath you, legs wrapped around your naked waist, your hand trapped between your bodies. Your face is buried against her neck and you can hardly contain the lust to pierce her skin and have a different taste of what she offers you so willingly already. Just a little nip to kill your curiosity. But you are not allowed to with the marked ones.

Her moans are getting breathier by the second. This beautiful voice sends a shiver down your spine. The voice that had you wondering what she would sound like in the throes of arousal the first time your heard her sing.

Matska - _Mattie_ \- enters the room so quietly you barely notice her. "Do you mind?“ You hiss between clenched teeth. The girl doesn’t bother to stop the movement against your fingers and you feel her getting close, muscles clenching and shuddering.

"Hurry up, kitten, Maman is waiting.“ Mattie crosses her arms in front of her chest and eyes you with a bored expression.

You want to curl around the girl, shield her from what is to come, but Mattie would just throw you through the room if you’d try anything. And as much as you love the beautiful voice, the talent and the raw passion that lives in this fragile body, she isn’t worth your suffering.

The girl comes undone, a growl escaping your throat when her fingernails dig into your shoulders, before you untangle yourself from her and climb off the bed.

"It’s a pity to waste her for Maman’s ritual.“ You slip into a robe and watch as Mattie lifts the motionless girl, eyes glazed over and wrapped in the duvet, into her arms.

"Make yourself presentable, Maman expects us at dinner when she is done. We will find something sweet for ourselves afterwards, darling.“

You give her a crooked smile, your mind clinging to the last notes of a voice that will never be heard again.

 

* * *

 

 

ii.)

 

You get carried out of the carriage. You don’t bruise easily, but it still isn’t that nice of an experience when your vehicle somersaults.

There are new voices beside the hushed tones in which Maman is talking. And between all the whispering you hear Mattie’s dark chuckle coming from the carriage. You at least hope she got bumped around a little, because why is it always your task to get abandoned and play nice with innocent, doe-eyed girls.

Repetitive as it is, you play your part. Shocked, confused, terrified and left behind and of course you get taken in.

The girl, Ell, is excited to make your acquaintance. Not that you couldn’t charm her if she wasn’t, but it makes the start of your friendship easier.

Always the same and yet, this time, it is completely different. You find yourself flustered whenever she entwines your hands or holds onto your arm. Her heartbeat, quickening whenever you are close to her, is hypnotizing, and it is one night under the stars that you wish for your heart to beat again when you kiss her.

Mattie visits you, not very pleased with your progress. She sits on the windowsill in your room, the moon accentuating her silhouette, the light a beautiful contrast to her complexion. You have too look away, afraid of what she might see in your eyes.

But she knows you far too well after the years and years you’ve spent together. After a few torturous moments in which you try to explain why Ell won’t be ready to be taken in a few days, Mattie slides from the windowsill and pulls you into a hug. You are startled for a second, before something inside of you breaks and you let your pent up emotions burst out.

"Oh, kitten.“ She strokes your hair, scrapes her nails over the skin of your neck and behind your ears, makes you calm down and almost lets a purr erupt from your throat.

You plan to run away with Ell, Maman and the sacrifice be damned. You promise her all the dawns and dusks and stars.

You promise her the world.

But all your promises turn to dust, when the last thing you see is Maman next to Ell and then only blood.

 

#

 

You feel rather lucky when you walk off the battlefield unharmed, and even more so, when Maman picks you up in Paris and just puts her arms around you. Not to show you love or affection, but the power she has over you.

"I’ve missed you, my glittering girl,“ is whispered into your hair and it takes everything in you not to vomit your last meal all over her.

You have no choice but to follow Maman back to Styria and the campus of Silas University. She introduces you to William, turned not long ago, right after the last sacrifice, to help with abducting girls. You are not very fond of him with the way he hangs on every word Maman utters.

Dismissed after a few hours, but reminded of your loyalty to your _family_ , you are more or less free to do as you please with the next sacrifice still a few years away.

So you run.

As soon as you are out of Maman’s house you let the cat rise and take over your body.

It is freeing to feel the wind ruffle your fur, and with great pleasure you take in the scents of earth, leaves and all kinds of lives when you sprint through the underbrush of the nearby forest. You could climb trees, you could hunt, you could warm your pelt in the sun, but you choose to exhaust your muscles. Until you smell her. Your nose twitches and you stop dead in your tracks, almost stumbling over some roots. It is only a few seconds before Mattie breaks through the line of trees to your left.

You want to scream, to cry and claw, but Mattie is the only one you consider family, so only a desperate mewl leaves your mouth. After the next tentative steps she falls to her knees right in front of you and wraps her arms around your neck. "I’ve missed you so much, kitten."

And it seems a bit of the weight from the last decades gets lifted with that renewed connection. You are crying, both sad and happy tears, on the inside and you don’t really know what to do with yourself, so you pounce on her. Gently. And cover her body with yours. Mattie could throw you off, if she wants to, but she just laughs and scratches your head and ears affectionately.

"You cute little monster. I’m going to take you on a vacation. Just you and me, what do you think?“

You nuzzle her cheek and your approving purr makes her laugh even harder.

 

#

 

Music, you can’t even categorize, blasts loudly through the room. The woman in your lap can’t seem to sit still, her ass moving against your crotch, while you suck on the skin over her pulse point.

Mattie pulled some connections to Saigon’s local vampire nests and now you’re here, in a room filled with men and women, willing to host for the both of you if you should desire. The skin around your mouth is probably smeared with blood, having fed from four-five different women already; and you still want more.

Mattie is having fun on the improvised dance floor, with men and women alike. One against her back, one in front of her, moving and grinding, while she alternates the neck she’s drinking from. This is the most careless you have ever seen her and you can’t stop watching. She flashes you a bloody smile when she notices you, untangles herself from her dance partners and saunters over.

You notice the pulse begins to jump even harder against your lips. Leaning down, Mattie rests her hands high on the woman’s thighs, her thumbs stroking over your fingers on the woman’s hips. "Enjoying yourself, kitten?“

Your fangs graze over soft skin, when you give her a wide smile. "Time of my life.“

You feel a shudder ripple through the body that is pressed against you, when Mattie comes even closer and whispers something into the woman’s ear, in a language you still have to learn. The woman nods eagerly and responds with a shaking voice. Mattie chuckles and gives you a wicked grin. "She thinks we are both very attractive.“

You scoff. "Well, naturally.“

"And,“ Mattie grabs your chin with one hand and tilts your head up, leans in and licks some blood off the corner of your mouth, "she wants to host both of us. At the same time.“

With her knuckles she traces your jawline lovingly, before her fingers tangle into your hair, and guide you back against the offered neck. Your own hands slip under the shirt of your host to trace shuddering muscles and the hem of a skirt.

A loud moan rings in your ear, when Mattie and you bite down simultaneously. The woman’s hips buck up, searching for any kind of friction. You can taste the arousal, alcohol and drugs. It’s a heady cocktail and you loose yourself in it.

You don’t know how much time passes, but when you wake up, you feel like Maman tossed you against a brick wall multiple times. Headfirst.

A weight pins you down and as you open your eyes, groaning at the artificial light that illuminates the room, you’re greeted by the sight of Mattie, sprawled on top of you.

Looking around you see several bodies on the floor, some of them still have a pulse, but the others are probably dead.

You shuffle a little, trying to get more comfortable, and wake up Mattie while doing so.

She groans, just as you did, and pushes herself up on her forearms. She looks exactly like you feel. "Don’t you dare throw up on me,“ you warn with a croaked voice and poke her biceps.

Mattie just lets herself fall down again with a huff, and you hope _you_  can keep the last shots of blood inside of you. "Just stay your comfy self and let me nap.“

You rub one hand over your eyes. "And here I thought vampires couldn’t get a hangover.“

"Probably the mixed blood types, plus medically unchecked hosts, plus alcohol, plus whatever synthesized chemicals these people put in their bodies.“ Mattie slaps your side. "Now shut up and let me sleep, kitten.“

You run a hand through her hair and close your eyes again.

 

* * *

 

 

iii.)

 

"I’m your new roommate, sweetheart.“

Right after walking into the room you know that girl will be trouble, but you are confident that you can handle it. If not you can always piss off Maman with letting her get away.

You are constantly annoyed. Not only because Laura doesn’t stop investigating the missing girls, but because Will is the one with you at Silas and not Mattie. You can’t talk with him, like you can with her, and so when you notice yourself starting to _care_  for Laura, you just swallow your emotions down.

And you were right; Laura is trouble. It is because of her that you want to smack that loving smile from the giant ginger Lit TA’s face. Because of Laura you want to help. Because of Laura you don’t kill the giant ginger Lit TA when you have your hand around her neck.

When Maman takes over Laura’s body something inside of you breaks, but you keep her safe.

Except she is not, because she is headstrong and wants to save her friends by attacking all evil that is haunting this campus.

You face Maman, and when you lounge at the light  _Laura_ , _Laura_ , _Laura_  is the only thing on your mind, before there is nothing. The light envelops you, lets you feel weightless and free. Your non-beating heart weeps, but Laura is safe.

The blood Laura makes you drink is barely enough to get you conscious, but her excited, lovable self does the rest. You think you’re in heaven, except for the taste of blood on your tongue and the pain in your side, but maybe you are.

Because Laura kisses you back.

 

#

 

"Race you.“ Laura sheds her bunny jacket and sprints out of the room; an adorable giggle echoing after her.

You’re still relishing in the memory of your shared kiss, of Laura against your lips and the tip of your tongue, when you await her in the solarium.

"You totally cheated.“ She huffs, tries to hide the smile that’s tugging on her lips. Slightly flushed and panting, she steps closer, excitement and adoration shining in her eyes.

You put down the bottle of champagne and two glasses next to the blanket you already spread on the floor. "Did you expect me to act differently, cupcake?“

Motioning for her to sit down with you, she pulls you in for a kiss, as soon as you’re next to each other again. You can’t seem to get enough of her; of her mouth that can ramble on and on, but is so soft and amazing against yours. Laura’s hand is on the back of your head, a purr rumbling through your chest, as soon as her fingers tangle through your hair, and you feel her smile again.

"What about that champagne and stargazing, sweetheart?“ You have to hold yourself back, you don’t want to push her, but it gets harder with every jump of her pulse and the scent of arousal that starts to cloud your judgement.

She bites her lip, her pupils are dilated, and she is probably just as impatient as you are, but she nods. So you pour you both a glass of champagne, clink your glass against hers and take a sip. The champagne had been one of Maman’s favorites. Laura hums delighted and licks spare droplets from her top lip. And it’s that motion that makes you pull her in again, claiming her lips with your own tongue.

Laura sets the glasses aside before she straddles your lap. Her hands steadying herself on your shoulders, before you wrap your arms around her waist and mold your bodies together. Her fingers get lost in your hair again.

Her heartbeat echoes in your chest, her breath loud against your ear, when your lips move along her jaw and neck; loving the taste of her skin, licking kittenish between kisses.

You paw at her back, until your fingers find the zipper, her dress already bunched up at her hips. You hesitate, stilling your movements, lips pressed to her neck. "Is this okay?“

"Yes, very much so.“ She giggles lightly, cups your cheek and brings your foreheads together. "Really. I want this, I want _you_ , and most importantly, I trust you.“

You capture her mouth in a sweet kiss. Lips slowly nudging and nibbling, until you pull the zipper down and your hand begins to caress the bared skin of her shoulders. Laura shudders on top of you and gasps into your mouth when your fingers trace her spine and unhook the clasp of her bra.

You lean back, locking eyes with Laura; and you forget everything about stars, because all the constellations you could think of you find in her brown eyes speckled with dusts of gold and green.

Laura rests her weight more firmly on your thighs. You can feel the heat through your pants and you wish your clothes were already gone.

Your hands wander over her back, her sides, letting them rest on the top of her thighs, barely sliding under her dress, playing with the hem of her stockings and relishing in every little sound that escapes her.

With a small, insecure smile Laura slides the sleeves and bra straps down her arms, but holds the fabric in front of her chest. A blush begins to spread down her neck.

You lean forward and press your lips against her heated skin, your tongue darting out to lick across her clavicle. Carefully you bite down and suck the skin into your mouth.

Laura arches into your touch and lets the front of her dress fall in favor of keeping your head in place with her hands.

Brushing your lips over the top of her breast, you pause, feeling her heart beating hard and fast. You want her so much, to feel and hear her fall apart because of your touch. "I want to worship every inch of your body,“ you mumble against her skin.

Laura starts rolling her hips, impatiently, a groan escaping her throat at your words. She tugs at your shirt and with a bit of fumbling and Laura’s hands eager to touch you, you are topless. Her eyes rake over your chest, her irises only small rings of gold around her blown pupils. You kiss her and pull her close again, and you both gasp at the first touch of the other’s naked skin.

"Carm,“ whatever Laura wants to say is swallowed by a loud moan when your hands inch higher and your thumbs slide under her panties.

You bite down on her bottom lip, soothing it right afterwards with your tongue. "Yes, cupcake?“

She rolls her hips again, trying to get your fingers closer to where she needs them. "I really, _really_  need you to touch me. _Please_.“

With a quick flick of your wrists you hook your fingers in her underwear and begin to drag them down. But you don’t get very far, Laura’s hips still moving to get any kind of friction against your stomach.

"Sweetheart, either you move off for a second, or I’ll have to shred your underwear.“

"You would, wouldn’t you.“ Laura stares at you with a mix of amusement and arousal, a grin spread on her lips, before she climbs off your lap to shove down her dress, panties and stockings.

You pop the button of your own pants open, but get stopped by Laura’s hands on your wrist.

Almost too slow for your impatient and aroused mind, Laura helps you out of the rest of your clothes before she straddles you again. Her moan mixes with your growl when you feel her wet and hot against the bare skin of your stomach.

Without wasting another second you lean forward and close your lips around an already hard nipple. Sucking, biting, licking; your hands roaming over every patch of naked skin you can reach.

Laura leaves a wet trail on your abs with every move of her hips. The scent, the feeling, every little sound is almost too much. You feel your fangs graze the soft skin of her breast, and Laura sucks in a shuddering breath.

One arm snakes around her waist, steadying her, when your other hand runs over her thigh, her hipbone, her lower stomach.

Laura lifts herself up a bit.

You’re sucking a hickey into her skin, just beneath her clavicle, where you feel her heart thunder against your lips. You look up, Laura is biting her lip, her mouth curling into a shy smile, cheeks flushed and she looks so beautiful you want to ingrain this moment into your memories.

Laura gives you a small nod and that’s all it takes. Your hand moves down, fingertips touching the first hints of heat and you groan into her chest, tongue and teeth worshipping her breasts when your fingers dip between her folds.

Her nails dig into your neck with every slow circle around her clit, and she pulls you up into a desperate, messy kiss. Teeth, and nibbling and sucking on your tongue.

Heat coils in the pit of your stomach, threatens to burn you from the inside and your hips buck up, your knuckles pressing against you and relieving some of the tension. You moan into Laura’s mouth; she answers with one of her own, when your fingers slip into her.

You want to lap and suck at her, until she is coating your mouth and chin with her wetness instead of your hand, but now you just want to feel her fall apart around your fingers. You fall into a rhythm, getting more and more erratic, Laura’s hips rolling greedily against your thrusting fingers.

Broken syllables and words are mixed with moans and whimpers, and _Carm_ and _please_ sound more desperate with every new utterance. Your foreheads touch, her breath puffing against your parted lips. You flick your tongue against Laura’s bottom lip and rub your palm harder against her clit, her arms tightening around your shoulders.

Her muscles clench around your fingers, her thighs tremble and her back arches, trapping your arm and hand fully between your bodies. The heat seems to explode, melting your lap, and you want to stay in this moment forever when she comes with a high-pitched moan.

 _Laura_ , _Laura_ , "Laura,“ falls from your lips like a prayer.

 

#

 

You should have known that Mattie would show up.

You’re happy to see her, you really are. But when she threatens Laura a cold hand of fear wraps its fingers around your undead heart. Because she could kill Laura. She could before you’d even be able to lift a finger and try to stop her.

But when "I won’t let you hurt her,“ tumbles from your lips, she realizes what this tiny human woman has done to you.

And the annoying big sister she can be, she lets both, Laura and you, suffer through a ramble about your various "great romances“. You hate her, but love her nonetheless. With Laura and Mattie close you think that everything could turn out to be okay.

Except it isn’t.

 

* * *

 

 

iv.)

 

Something about this Baron Vordenburg rubs you in the wrong way, and that you can’t exactly tell _why_  bothers you even more.

Yes, he brought the library back and stopped the strange animal rains from happening - not even LaFontaine knows _how_  - but even Mattie is cautious, and tries not to stay in the same room with him for an extended period of time.

And he looks at Laura. Too often too curious for your liking.

When you sit down behind her on the big leather lounge chair, while she is talking to LaFontaine and Vordenburg, and you pull her into your arms, against your front, he huffs and sneers.

Maybe he is just an old homophobe.

So you nuzzle her neck and leave small kisses all over her pulse point to piss him off, and just to feel close to your girlfriend again.

With the apartment crowded most of the day and all the chaos that’s going on, there is no time or _energy_  left for intimacy.

When LaFontaine focuses on Vordenburg, you feel Laura’s attention shift to your hands on her stomach and your lips close to her ear.

"Carm, we’re not alone.“

You chuckle, because _duh_. If you were, your hands would already touch her bare skin.

"Can I at least get a kiss, cupcake?“ You purr into her ear, and you know Laura can’t resist when you use that tone. Later she will complain about how you’re corrupting her, and how you’re not playing fair, but you couldn’t care less; because she turns more into you, one hand tangles through your hair and she kisses you.

Every sound fades to unintelligible background noises, until the only things you hear are Laura’s breathing and her quickening heartbeat.

You bite down on her bottom lip and relish in the loud moan she can’t suppress. But with that, Laura snaps out of her haze and breaks the kiss with a little shove to your shoulder. You grin, because Laura is flushed and her eyes are dilated and you could probably throw her over your shoulder right now and carrie her into the bedroom and she wouldn’t protest. At least not too much.

"You’re evil,“ but Laura is smiling when she turns to follow the conversation again.

"Vampire, sweetheart.“

Laura rubs her cheek against your own. "Yeah. _My_  evil vampire girlfriend.“

And you feel like your heart could beat again.

 

#

 

Clinking your wine glass of O neg with Mattie’s you settle more comfortable into the booth.

You would have preferred another location for your _girls night_ , but close to campus aren’t that many bars or restaurants that cater to your special needs, and you didn’t feel like hunting. You haven’t felt like hunting in a long time.

"The cub reporter is holding you back, isn’t she?“ Mattie needed a few minutes to recover from her laughing fit when you told her, almost scaring off your waiter, "Pity. But I’ll give you another few days to come to your senses. I am patient.“

"I stopped drinking from hosts before I met her. At least if I can avoid it.“ The second bit is mumbled into the glass when you take a sip.

"Ooh, spill.“ Mattie leans forward, licks a few crimson droplets from her bottom lip, and grins at you.

You roll your eyes at her, but of course you tell her. How you bit Laura to run after Will during the chaos that was the last semester.

"So, you’re telling me that strenuous girl wasn’t even _that_  angry when you drank from her?“ She raises an eyebrow and looks at you unbelievingly. "And you’re living from packaged blood? Oh, kitten, and here I thought I taught you better.“

"Don’t give me that look.“ Your fingertips run over the smooth, cold surface of the glass, eyes fixed on the dark red liquid. "It’s just easier to pay the kids at the emergency station on campus. Why go with all the trouble and exhaustion hosts can cause?“

"The rush of the hunt, the feeling of your fangs sliding into soft flesh, the blood warm and delicious running down your throat.“ Mattie shrugs her shoulders and brings the glass to her lips, a glint in her eyes.

You hum noncommittally, the tip of your tongue running over your fangs. Yes, you thought about that night when you had bitten Laura, more often than you’d want to admit. Her taste, the feeling of her body, the sound of her hitched breath. But you would never ask her to host for you, especially not when there is a handy alternative on campus.

Both of you finish another glass, before you head out into the night. It’s getting warmer, spring finally showing the first hints of summer. A clear night sky, and your mind wanders to Laura and the _stargazing_ , and to what will hopefully be a perfect conclusion to a nice and not that catastrophic day. Mattie links your arms, and it is almost too peaceful.

"So… You and the neurotic one of the ginger twins, huh?“ You can’t stop the smug grin that’s spreading on your lips, because it is the first time you can poke fun at her, for showing interest in a human beyond bloodlust.

She tilts her chin up and looks down at you, and it’s moments like this that you just _feel_  her being your older sister. You bite on your tongue to keep the next snarky comment to yourself.

You’re close to campus, when Mattie stops. "Something’s not right.“ And before you can even ask she grabs your hand and runs, the blood fueling your vampire speed, and within seconds you’re in front of Maman’s apartment.

The metallic smell hits you, before you even open the door, and when you get inside it makes you nauseous with a mix of want and disgust. You hear shouting, and loud banging noises, and when you get closer, you see Danny throwing herself against the door to the lounge. LaFontaine is unconscious, propped up against the wall, a bruise on their temple already turning purple.

When Danny notices the two of you, she starts to ramble, through tears and desperation. "Vordenburg, he… And Perry… A-and _Laura_! I tried, but-“

Mattie shoves her forcefully to the side and without any hesitation kicks down the door.

The smell of blood gets stronger, and fear spreads through your whole body, because you can almost taste whose blood it is. You shove Danny out of the way when she wants to get into the room, and it looks like you were ported into a bad horror movie.

Except it isn’t.

Perry lies tied up on the lounge chair, tears streaming down her face. Mattie’s hand is around Vordenburg’s neck, while he tries to free himself, struggling and trying to hit her with a curved knife.

You fall to your knees and the sob of " _Laura_!“ that rips through your throat almost makes you choke.

Laura is lying on the floor in a puddle of her own blood, symbols and shapes carved into her exposed stomach, her wrists sliced open.

" _No_! Laura, Laura, _Laura_!“ You cradle her limp body against your chest, listening to a pulse that’s quickly fading. Her face is ashen, so peaceful she could be asleep, and your tears drip onto her cheek, and you scream, because your mind is blank and "No, _please_ , no!“

You rock back and forth, press your lips against her forehead. Her skin is so cold, and the blood soaking your clothes so warm and this is _wrong_. This can’t be happening.

"Do it.“ Mattie’s voice almost doesn’t get through to you and it takes a moment for you to realize what she means.

"I can’t,“ your voice breaks and a fresh wave of tears blurs your vision. "She would hate me. I-I can’t.“

You don’t realize Mattie is kneeling next to you, until she grabs the back of your head and forces you to look at her. She holds Vordenburg’s knife and sets it against her own wrist. "Your call, kitten.“

You want to say no, because it is a curse and eternity and everything you wouldn’t wish for her, but… _Laura_. You whisper "I love you," and "Please forgive me,“ against the crown of her head before you give Mattie a nod.

Mattie doesn’t even flinch when the blade cuts open the skin on her wrist. Grabbing one of Laura’s arms she brings the wound to her mouth, while she presses her own wrist to Laura’s slightly parted lips.

You are selfish, because you want more time with her, and a part of you already regrets it, because it wasn’t your decision to make, but you mouth _I love you_  over and over against her temple and just try to hope.

Laura’s heart stops.

 

 

* * *

 

 

v.)

 

It’s only been five weeks, but you miss her, terribly. Five weeks since Vordenburg tried to use her for a ritual, because she was "pure while corrupted by evil“. Five weeks since you snapped his spine with your bare hands.

You talk to Perry a lot, because she would have been next, even though she and Mattie haven’t been really involved. But apparently that didn’t matter for this sick bastard.

You let her sleep in your bed, because you both feel alone right now, and it is soothing to hear someone breathe next to you, while you’re reading and trying to ban all those terrible memories from your mind.

Joining Danny for her patrols through the nearby forest surprises both of you, but she just nods her head when you approach and you walk the path next to each other in silence.

It takes another two weeks for them to come back, and Silas is its insane self during this span of time, so plenty of crazy to keep you busy. LaFontaine distracts themselves from Perry’s reticence and helps you, most of the time with a lot of fire involved. But you still feel yourself getting nervous when you see Mattie walk across campus, from your position on the rooftop of Maman’s apartment.

You jump down and run up to her, but stop a few feet away when you see what she carries in her arms.

She gives you a tired smile. "She was too exhausted to walk for herself, but she is a fast learner.“ Mattie rubs her fingers through golden fur. "Though still annoying and now entirely your problem, sis.“

With shaking hands you cradle the little ball of fluff in your arms and a relieved, but confused laugh bursts out of you. "A cub? Seriously?“

"My nicknames are nothing if not fitting, kitten. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink and a few days of sleep.“

And you’re alone, with Laura in your arms.

You sit down, careful not to disturb her slumber and bury your nose in her soft fur, relishing in her scent, still so much her, now mixed with a darker, wilder tone of earth and heated stone. She stretches, her paws digging into your side, and yawns and mewls and you feel tears sliding down your cheeks, because she is here, more or less alive, and purring against your stomach.

You sit there, just holding Laura for you don’t know how long, but at some point she shifts, and suddenly her arms are thrown around your shoulders.

Your whole body begins to tremble, you sob into her neck and wrap your arms around her waist to never let her go again. Laura nuzzles your cheek with her own and kisses a tear away and for a moment she leans back and just stares at you and you feel like everything could end right here.

"Laura, I’m- I don’t… I’m so-“

But she shakes her head to stop you with a sad little smile on her lips and you’re waiting for her to stand up and leave you, but she leans in and kisses you softly. Cupping your cheeks and her fingernails graze your skin and her lips nudge your own, before she breaks the kiss, your foreheads touching, and you can still taste her with every panting breath you don’t need to take.

She looks at you in wonder and with a new curiosity, and tangles her fingers through your hair, before she closes her eyes and sighs against your lips. "We’ll be okay.“

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this got way out of hand. Also I'm very sorry, if the Baron turns out to be nice in the show, but I just went with the 'Vampire Hunter' thing from the novel.


End file.
